Conflict as an opportunity to grow
The world would not be very interesting if everyone thought the same way. It is the diversity of experience, perspective and opinion that bring us deeper into life and lead the way to better problem-solving. There is difference all around us. You can choose to see it as a threat or as an opportunity. And remember, the only person you can really change is you and the way you respond to situations and people. To truly seek peace, we must be willing to lay aside our desire to be right and approach each situation of difference with a desire to succeed by creating understanding and growth rather than being right.
Take the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. It will tell you that you handle interpersonal conflict either by competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding or accommodating. Then find opportunities to practice other methods of handling the conflicts that arise in our lives.
Tips to stay centered during difficult conversations & confront microaggressions.
Ask them questions about their comment. Call them in and ask them to explain their comment.
They might not realize it's a hurtful comment. Start with love. Acknowledge that you appreciate them and see them before commenting. “I love you and....”
Taking a pause before you say something. Think about your language before you speak.
Desensitization to language that is racist and hurtful. Countering that desensitization is important.
Take an inquisitive approach rather than accusatory language to help others look at the language they just used.
Call them into a conversation rather than calling them out on their comment.
“I’m curious about why you used that language” Rather than “Why did you say that?”
Having these conversations when it's just white people in the room is important so the next time they interact with BIPOC folks they are more mindful of their language.